We use your idea, but partly for ease of typing we use different notation. Say that we are in State $1$ if the sum so far is congruent to $1$ modulo $3$, and that we are in State $2$ if the sum is congruent to $2$. Let $m$ be the mean waiting time. Let $a_1$ be the additional mean waiting time, given we are in State $1$, and $a_2$ the additional mean waiting time given that we are in State $2$.
On the first pick, we either get something divisible by $3$, in which case we have spent $1$ pick, and our additional waiting time is $0$. Or else we get a $1$ or a $7$, and our mean additional waiting time is $a_1$. Or else we get a $5$, and our mean additional waiting time is $a_2$. Thus
$$m=1+\frac{2}{5}a_1+\frac{1}{5}a_2.\tag{1}$$
Suppose we are in State $1$, and do another trial. If we get a $3$ or a $9$, we stay in State $1$, and our additional expected time remains at $a_1$. If we get a $1$ or a $7$, our additional expected waiting time becomes $a_2$. And if we get $5$, we are finished. Thus
$$a_1=1+\frac{2}{5}a_1+\frac{2}{5}a_2.\tag{2}$$
Similarly,
$$a_2=1+\frac{1}{5}a_1+\frac{2}{5}a_2.\tag{3}$$
Solve the last two equations for $a_1$ and $a_2$, and substitute in Equation (1).