First, let $v$ be a $0, 1$ vector and let $w = \vec 1 - v$, where $\vec 1$ is the all-ones vector. Then $A = v w^t$ satisfies $$A^2 = vw^tvw^t = (w \cdot v)A = 0 \cdot A = 0$$
If $k$ is the number of $1$ entries in $v$ then the number of $1$ entries in $A$ is:
$$k \cdot (n-k)$$
As mentioned in other posts, this is maximal when $k = \lfloor \frac n 2 \rfloor$ (or when $k = \lceil \frac n 2 \rceil$).
Notice that this computation is independent of which positions in $v$ are nonzero, so we may as well assume they are the first $k$ entries of $v$, in which case $A$ has the block structure: $$A = \begin{pmatrix} 0 & 1 \\\ 0 & 0\end{pmatrix},$$ where here "1" is to be interpreted as the $k \times (n - k)$ all-1s matrix. Note that reordering the entries of $v$ (and hence $w$) amounts to conjugating $A$ by a permutation matrix.
To summarize up to this point, the $vw^t$ construction gives us a way to build matrices of the (purported) maximal density.
Now, let $A$ be a nonzero $0, 1$ matrix that satisfies $A^2 = 0$. As noted by the author of the question, if $A_{i,j} = 1$ then row $j$ and column $i$ are zero. In particular, this forces $i \neq j$. By conjugating by a permutation matrix we may assume that $i=1$ and $j=n$, so column $1$ and row $n$ are zero. By repeating this process inductively we may assume that $1 = A_{1, n} = A_{2, n-2} = \dots = A_{k, n + 1 - k}$ for some $k \geq 1$. Then rows $n + 1-k$ through $n$ and columns $1$ through $k$ are all zero. In other words, $A$ is permutation equivalent to $$\begin{pmatrix} 0 & B \\\ 0 & 0 \end{pmatrix}$$ for some $k \times (n-k)$ matrix B.
Any matrix of this form satisfies $A^2 = 0$, so we achieve maximal density when the entries of $B$ are all 1 and $B$ has maximal area, i.e., $k = \lfloor \frac n 2 \rfloor$ or $k = \lceil \frac n 2 \rceil$. Note that in this case, $$A = \begin{pmatrix}1 \\\ 0\end{pmatrix}\begin{pmatrix}0 & 1 \end{pmatrix}$$ where the "1" entries are to be interpreted as subvectors of all 1s. In other words, all maximal-density $0, 1$ matrices satisfying $A^2 = 0$ are of the form $vw^t$ as constructed above, with $v$ having weight $\lfloor \frac n 2 \rfloor$ or $\lceil \frac n 2 \rceil$.