By Theorem 3 on page 15 of this paper,
no secure-with-abort protocol for equality of long strings can be within 1/5 of fair.
If there is a protocol for equality on a domain of size at least 3 which is
secure against honest-but-curious adversaries, then oblivious transfer protocols exist.
If oblivious transfer protocols exist, then there are protocols for equality which give $P_1$
security-and-guaranteed-output-delivery and have $P_2\hspace{-0.03 in}$'s possible outputs be $\: \{\hspace{-0.02 in}\neq,\hspace{-0.03 in}\neq_{\hspace{-0.03 in}\perp},\hspace{-0.04 in}\perp,\hspace{-0.04 in}=\hspace{-0.02 in}\}$
and give $P_2$ the security that consists of indistinguishability from the ideal functionality
for which [if the inputs are equal then $P_2$ outputs the simulator's choice of $=$ or $\perp]$
and [if the inputs are not equal then the simulator chooses between $[P_2$ outputs $\neq]$
and $[P_2$ has a small chance of outputting $\perp$ and otherwise outputs $\neq_{\hspace{-0.03 in}\perp}\hspace{.02 in}]]$.
Such a protocol can be constructed as follows:
Start with Section 3.2, even though the domains are both super-polynomially large.
Look at $\operatorname{Sharegen}_r$, which is the box at the top of page 9.
If $\: x=y \:$ then set $\: \hspace{.03 in}j = i^* \:$, $\:$ else choose $\hspace{.03 in}j$ uniformly at random from $\: \{1,...,r\}\;$.
Ignore for loop immediately after $\operatorname{Sharegen}_r\hspace{-0.04 in}$'s choice of $i^*\hspace{-0.03 in}$.
Instead, this phase is to set $a_{i^*}$ and $b_j$ to the relation ($=$ or $\neq$) that holds between $x$ and $y$,
give $i^*$ and a share of $a_{i^*}$ to $P_1$, give $\hspace{.03 in}j$ and a share of $b_j$ to $P_2$, and give each of them $r$
real-or-simulated shares for the $a$s and $b\hspace{.02 in}$s in order to hide $i^*$ and $\hspace{.03 in}j$ from $P_2$ and $P_1$ respectively.
Note that either the integer prefixes must have the same length as each other
for the same party, or a stateful MAC must be used instead of concatenation.
Now, look at the box at the top of the next page, but ignore its step 3.
Just like that paper mentions on page 10 in the paragraph that starts with "Proof", the rest
of this paragraph will ignore the MACs and the fact that the parties are to be checking them.
If $P_1$ gets $P_2\hspace{-0.03 in}$'s share of $a_{i^*}$ and $a_{i^*}$ is $=$ then $P_1$ [outputs $=$, sends the next message,
and then halts]. $\:$ Otherwise, $P_1$ will output $\neq$ when $P_2$ aborts or the for loop reaches its end.
If $P_2$ gets $P_1\hspace{-0.04 in}$'s share of $b_j$ and $b_j$ is $=$ then $P_2$ outputs $=$ and halts. $\:$ If the for loop reaches its end
and $b_j$ is $\neq$ then $P_2$ outputs $\neq$. $\:$ If $P_2$ gets the simulated-share for $b_{j-1}$ but does not get
$P_1\hspace{-0.04 in}$'s share of $b_j$ then $P_2$ outputs $\perp$. $\:$ If $P_1$ aborts at any other time then $P_2$ outputs $\neq_{\hspace{-0.03 in}\perp}$.
Note that for an adversary, acting as either party, the ability to abort and get significant information about whether or not the other party got $\neq$ for [the $a$ or $b$ value which the honest party would learn if both parties were honest] would let the adversary significantly bias the other party's output.
(i.e., significantly beyond what can already be done in the ideal model)
.
For that construction, "a small chance" means "probability $1/r$".
Since it gives $P_1$ gets security-with-guaranteed-output-delivery, which is even stronger than security-with-fairness, the above protocol runs into the limits imposed by the impossibility proof. $\:$ On one hand, just ignoring the subscript on $\neq_{\hspace{-0.03 in}\perp}$ gives $P_2$ security-with-abort,
so doing that must come at the cost of significant unfairness.
On the other hand, doing that and replacing $\perp$ with $=$ gives $P_2$ approximate fairness,
so doing that must come at the cost of security-with-abort.
However, time-lock puzzles are enough to get around that, yielding a protocol such that
$P_1\hspace{-0.04 in}$'s possible outputs are $\: \{\hspace{-0.02 in}\neq,\hspace{-0.03 in}\neq_{\hspace{-0.03 in}\perp},\hspace{-0.03 in}=_{\hspace{-0.03 in}\perp},\hspace{-0.04 in}=\hspace{-0.02 in}\} \:$ and $P_2\hspace{-0.03 in}$'s possible outputs are $\: \{\hspace{-0.02 in}\neq,\hspace{-0.03 in}\neq_{\hspace{-0.03 in}\perp},\hspace{-0.03 in}\perp,\hspace{-0.03 in}=_{\hspace{-0.03 in}\perp},\hspace{-0.04 in}=\hspace{-0.02 in}\} \;$.
$P_1$ still gets security-and-guaranteed-output-delivery,
but that delivery will take time $T$ when $P_2$ aborts.
$P_2\hspace{-0.03 in}$'s standard-model security (i.e., what applies even if $P_1$ can quickly break the puzzles)
is like it was for the previous protocol, but if the inputs are equal then the simulator
can alternatively choose $=_{\hspace{-0.03 in}\perp}$. $\:$ If the puzzles are secure against $P_1$, then $P_1$ aborting
or not is statistically close to independent of $P_2\hspace{-0.03 in}$’s input and for equal inputs, the probability
of $P_2$ outputting $\perp$ is statistically close to $1/r$ times the probability of $P_1$ aborting.
.
Time-lock puzzles can be brought in to do that as follows:
The initialization phase will produce $\:a_1,...,a_r\:$,$\:$ rather than just $a_{i^*}$. $\;\;\;$ If the inputs are equal then for all elements $i$ of $\:\{i^*,...,r\}\:$,$\:$ $a_i$ will be $=$. $\;\;\;$ Other than that, the $a$s will all be $\neq$.
$P_1$ will get a share of each $a$, but $i^*$ is to stay hidden from $P_1$. $\:$ $P_2$ will get time-lock puzzles that encode shares of the $a$s, rather than real-or-simulated shares of not-necessarily-existing $a$s. $\:$ (Those shares will not need to be at-all hidden from $P_2$, which may make things easier
than they'd otherwise be.) $\:$ An $(r\hspace{-0.03 in}+\hspace{-0.06 in}1)\hspace{-0.02 in}$-time MAC will be used for messages from $P_2$,
since in addition to the puzzles (rather than the encoded-shares directly)
being tagged, $P_2\hspace{-0.03 in}$'s share of $b_j$ will be authenticated with $\: i = 0 \;$.
After the for loop reaches its end, $P_2$ will send that share and its MAC-tag to $P_1$.
Just like in my previous description, the rest of this description will ignore the MACs.
If $P_2$ aborts before sending the puzzle that encodes its share of $a_1$, then $P_1$ outputs $\neq$.
If $P_2$ aborts at any later time, then $P_1$ sets $c$ to be the solution to the most recent puzzle
and outputs $c_{\hspace{-0.03 in}\perp}$. $\:$ If $P_2$ sends its final message then $P_1$ and $P_2$ both output $b_j$.
If $P_2$ does not get $P_1\hspace{-0.04 in}$'s simulated-share of $b_{j-\hspace{-0.02 in}1}$ then $P_2$ outputs $\neq_{\hspace{-0.03 in}\perp}$.
If $P_2$ gets that but does not get $P_1\hspace{-0.04 in}$'s share of $b_j$ then $P_2$ outputs $\perp$. $\:$ If $P_2$ gets $P_1\hspace{-0.04 in}$'s share of $b_j$
but $P_1$ aborts before sending its final message, then $P_2$ sets $c$ to be $b_j$ and outputs $c_{\hspace{-0.03 in}\perp}$.
.
That sort of idea can in fact be used can be used for securely computing arbitrary functions,
by modifying how I was describing their use for equality so that [for $i$ from $1$ to $i^*\hspace{-0.06 in}-\hspace{-0.06 in}1$,
$a_i$ will be $\perp$ rather than $\neq]$ and [the rest of the $a$s will be set to the function's output] and
replacing ["then $P_1$ outputs $\neq$","outputs $c_{\hspace{-0.03 in}\perp}\hspace{-0.02 in}$","then $P_2$ outputs $\neq_{\hspace{-0.03 in}\perp}\hspace{-0.02 in}$"] with ["then $P_1$ outputs $\perp\hspace{-0.03 in}$",
"if $c$ is $\perp$ then that party outputs $\perp$ else that party outputs $c_{\hspace{-0.03 in}\perp}\hspace{-0.03 in}$","then $P_2$ outputs $\perp \hspace{-0.03 in}$"] respectively.
(That is quite different from the traditional way of using time-lock puzzles for something
resembling fairness, which is to decrease $T$ geometrically between pairs of messages.)
However, protocols using time-lock puzzles as I described
for computing equality has the advantage of offering something non-trivial
in the way of fairness to $P_2$ even if $P_1$ can quickly break the puzzles.
(There was a non-proof after this sentence, but it was just for my conversation
with Yehuda Lindell, rather than being related to the rest of this answer.)
